the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
how do flat chested girls get laid?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize