Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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