didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
