This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
