is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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