question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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