that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
