it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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