Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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