census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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