I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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