Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
