The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
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