The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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