i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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