True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize