i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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