I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
