Walk of Shame. In a state park.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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