Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
