I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
