ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
