..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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