I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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