people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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