just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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