So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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