he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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