So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize