Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
