I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
