i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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