did you get engaged???
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
