can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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