4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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