some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
