Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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