Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
