Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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