Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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