me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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