when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
