How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
