Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
