You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
