She is in my trunk
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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