this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
no. you can't hotbox the world.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize