Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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