I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
