dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.