Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.