i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing