don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize