Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
