So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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