I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fill condoms, not promises.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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