Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
