i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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