Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
