Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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